Intimacy is not who you let touch your genitalia. Intimacy is who you text at 3am about your dreams and fears. Intimacy is giving someone your attention, when ten other people are asking for it. Intimacy is the person always in the back of your mind, no matter how distracted you are.
read that, again.
things I need to beat into my brain
That’s the problem with putting others first; you’ve taught them you come second.